Caught at the Divorce Hotel

A story about Adultery, Sex, Love, and Forgiveness

Lisa and I celebrated our 20th anniversary a few months ago with our two daughters Jasmine 16, Casey 13, and our 15-year-old son Jake. My name is Joel Luciano, a 42-year-old happy dad and husband. At least I was a happy husband until I wasn’t.

Lisa and Joel

When we married, Lisa had just turned 20 and I was her first and only love. I was two years older and had a few other girlfriends before we married. She was a pretty young thing, five foot-six inches, blonde hair, blue eyes, all in a cute 105-pound package. We had an amazing marriage and enjoyed struggling to give our kids a good home and happy environment.

For the past 20 years, we spent all of our time together and did everything as a family. The happy times; Birthdays, First Days of School, Plays, Graduations. Even the bad times brought us closer together. There were Jake’s broken bones from football, twisted ankles, stitches from girls’ soccer accidents, and even Lisa’s cancer scare. I remember spending all those months taking her to the hospital, staying with her during her Chemo and blood transfusions, taking care of the kids, and trying to keep everything together. Her recovery seven years ago brought the family even closer and we celebrated the blessing that Lisa beat cancer and we were still a strong family.

As you can imagine, raising three kids, paying all the bills, and trying to save for college tuition was stressful. The first thing to go is your trips to the gym and worrying about your diet or looks.

Over twenty years you can easily put on a pound or two each and every year, but neither of us cared about that as we were both more focused on saving for our children’s future.

I worked as a production manager for an engineering company and Lisa was the purchasing director for a mid-size manufacturing company. We both worked hard but were always there for the children. Even though our lives became redundant and routine, our love and intimacy never lacked and we always found time for sex and making sure we were both happy in bed. We weren’t sexual deviants but more plain vanilla than some of the stories we’ve read together, but we both seemed to be happy and satisfied with our lovemaking and relationship.

Four years ago we got some new neighbors, Maria and Roger. They were in their late twenties, had no kids, and liked to have weekend parties. Maria was a gym instructor, with an amazing body. Roger was 30 and also in good shape as you would expect from a young man married to a beautiful woman like Maria.

When Lisa turned 38 she was about thirty pounds overweight, which never bothered me in the least, as I also had about twenty extra pounds from our years of working hard without time to work out or take care of myself. Maria convinced Lisa that she was a beautiful woman and could easily lose the extra weight if she started going to the gym with her.

Two years later, just before Lisa was about to turn forty, Lisa was down to 110 pounds, with the body of her twenty years past. She looked amazing, and I always complimented her on how beautiful she was. Lisa became a new person, more confident, and sexual. Our sex life had improved with her new level of energy. Lisa had rediscovered her youth, and I tried to keep up and make her happy.

Lisa’s new slimmed down body

Of course, along with the new body came the new clothes and an updated fashion sense. With her new friend Maria’s help, Lisa was now wearing more revealing, sexy clothes. The new Lisa was enjoying her new body and liked to show it off in the tighter, more revealing, fashionable outfits. At first, I was a little concerned as she went off to work looking like a sexy young woman as I spent my day in my dad’s body and old suits. When we were out together, I now looked more like her father, than I did her partner or husband. She always tried to make me feel important and that looks didn’t matter, because I was the same man she loved for the last 20 years, and will have the same love for me over the next 20. The difference was that l now get to enjoy a sexy wife instead of the overweight woman I’d lived with. I told her that I loved that woman either way, and her looks didn’t matter.

For her 40th birthday I arranged a big party and invited all of our friends and workmates. I rented a small hall at the local hotel with a band and fully catered the party with an open bar. Lisa wore the sexiest little dress, new heels, and after a day at the salon looked like a supermodel. I watched the men eyeing her, and I could tell she loved the attention. Her new level of confidence was obvious and she became more outward and a free spirit, not the 40-year-old mother I was used to.

It was a great party and she made sure to thank Maria for helping her get her youth back, and how all the work helped her become who she was, and how it helped her marriage. I had to admit I loved looking at her new body and her new sexy attitude. What I didn’t like was watching her slow dance and flirt with several young men from her office. Over all the years of marriage she never danced with other men or openly flirted, but now, she seemed to enjoy the attention. This troubled me, but I let her enjoy her party and would discuss my feelings later.

When I mentioned it that night after the party, she apologized and explained that she never wanted me to feel jealous or awkward and that she would never do that again. She explained that she had just got carried away from all the excitement and drinks. That night she made up for it in bed and even gave me a wonderful blow job, which was a rare gift. She was a tigress in bed that night, and she enjoyed multiple orgasms before making sure I was completely satisfied, as she thanked me for the party in her special way.

Life went on and things got back to a normal routine, except for Lisa coming home late a few nights a week due to her time at the gym. I made sure to be home with the kids and have dinner ready on those nights she came home late from her workouts. Jake had an after-school club on Thursdays and needed a ride home. Lisa agreed to pick up Jake from school on Thursdays because his school was several miles away and crossed some busy roads.

Jake complained about being picked up and wanted to walk home because he said at 15 years old, he didn’t want his parents to pick him up. I explained that some of the roads he had to cross were too dangerous and if he wanted to be in the school club, he had to ride home with us, no exceptions. Of course, he agreed and I picked him up every day, with Thursday being the exception due to my Thursday Staff Meetings, and Thursday pickups became Mom’s routine.

One week Lisa was busy at work and forgot to pick him up and after forty minutes Jake decided to walk home. That was one of the few times anyone in the family saw me upset. Lisa was apologetic and upset with herself after seeing me lose my temper, and let them both know how I felt. Lisa swore it would never happen again and after I cooled off accepted it as a mistake. No harm, no foul, and all was back to normal in the Luciano home. Once again, she made it up to me in bed that night and life went on.

Two months later:

Financially, things were going well, work was good, and the family seemed to be happy, except for me. Over the previous weeks, I noticed that our sex life had gone from 4 to 5 nights per week, down to once or twice, and it was not at the same level we used to enjoy.

Lisa became more self-indulgent, worrying about her looks, having facials, and her hair and nails done weekly. It seems that once she hit the big 40, she desperately wanted to turn back the clock. New clothes and shoes filled the closet, and when I protested over the money she was spending I was greeted by an angry woman, and a bitchy wife who told me coldly that I was the one getting the benefit of the new young pretty wife, and that all the hard work she did to look like this was for me.

I wanted to tell her that for all her efforts I was getting no satisfaction and terrible sex. I told her I missed the old Lisa, but that I still loved her just as much as the new Lisa. More late nights, time at the gym, and a few nights out with Maria, our neighbor and gym instructor. That’s when I made a decision to take her away for a weekend to reconnect and try to get things back on track. I loved Lisa but needed to put my foot down and get things back to normal.

The following week I planned on taking her to dinner on Friday night and telling her of the plans of our getaway over a romantic dinner. Tuesday night I told her I made reservations for Friday night and already made plans for her parents to come over and watch the kids. The next morning I watched her getting ready for work. She was wearing another new dress that was a little over the top for work, along with dark pantyhose and red high heels. She looked sexy as Hell, but too dressed up for work. When I asked her about her outfit, she explained that the big bosses were coming in and she wanted to impress them. I knew better than to start a fight, so that Thursday morning I left the house wondering if I was ever getting my old Lisa back. I loved her, but disliked this new woman. Perhaps it was my insecurity, because I never lost my extra weight and when we were together, we no longer looked like a couple. I now had a trophy wife without the love and intimacy we once shared, and I was struggling and praying that our getaway weekend would help us reconnect.

Unfortunately, the events of that week delayed any getaways, or a date night. It was Thursday afternoon at 4PM when I got a call from Holy Cross Hospital. I was delivering a presentation at our staff meeting when the call came in that Jake was in the emergency room and needed immediate surgery. They explained I needed to get there immediately. I ran out to my car and drove like a madman to the hospital, which was fifteen minutes away. I called Lisa several times, but no answer. I called her parents and asked them to pick up the girls and come to the hospital to be with their brother. I left Lisa multiple messages and texts on her phone wondering and worried about where she was. She always answered her phone but for some reason, wasn’t answering today.

When I got to the hospital I met the doctors, signed all sorts of papers, gave my insurance card, and spent a minute with my son who was unconscious and covered in blood. It looked bad as I noticed his broken leg, cuts, and bruises all over his body. I kissed his forehead and felt tears running down my face as they wheeled him to the operating room. I was alone and scared to death as I started to worry about Lisa again. They led me to the Surgery Waiting Room where I met up with my daughters along with Lisa’s parents Edward and Mary. They looked to me for answers and I told them what I knew, including their missing daughter.

Jake, moments before leaving for surgery

We came to the conclusion that Lisa didn’t pick Jake up from school and he decided to walk home again. I told them I was really worried about Lisa because she wasn’t answering the phone and didn’t pick Jake up at school. They realized how unusual that was as we stood in a circle in the private waiting room trying to figure out what was going on.

“Let me call her office again and see if they know anything,” I said as I dialed her office.

“Hello, Lisa Luciano’s office.”

“Hi Lindsay, have you heard from Lisa? I need to speak to her right away.”

“Hello Joel, no I haven’t seen her since she left for lunch.”

“Lindsay, our son Jake was in an accident and is in the hospital. I really need to find her. Do you know who she went to lunch with?”

“Yes, she left at 1PM with Donnie, one of our suppliers sales reps.”

“Do you happen to have his cell phone number? Her phone must not be working and maybe he can help me find her.”

After waiting for a few moments, she came back on the phone.

“I found his business card on her desk. His cell number is: 560–455–5641”

“Thanks. If you hear from her please have her call me as soon as possible.”

I hung up and immediately dialed his number. No answer and it also went straight to voicemail and I suddenly had a very bad feeling. Not only was I distraught about my son who was about to have major surgery, but my wife seemed to be missing in action along with some salesman.

Tears were running down my face from all the stress. Lisa’s mom Mary gave me a hug and told me to hang in there. I was feeling anger start to build up when I heard Jasmine.

“I found Mom, Daddy,” Jasmine yelled out.

I turned to Jasmine who was holding up her phone. “What do you mean?”

“Mom put this “Find Me” application on our phones to keep track of us, and it works for her phone as well. She’s right there,” she said, pointing to a flashing red dot on her phone.

“That’s great, where is that?” I asked.

Lisa’s finally located at the Marriott Hotel

She zoomed into the phone and after a few seconds it gave us a location. It was the downtown Marriott hotel. When everyone heard that, they turned to me with a look of surprise. I quickly had an idea of how to get in contact with her. Unfortunately, if my idea worked it meant the end of my marriage.

Everyone watched me hit buttons on my phone. They were wondering what I was doing as I called the hotel and asked to be put through to Mr. Donnie Kelly’s room. They put me on hold and a moment later I heard the phone ringing. After eight rings a man finally answered in a frustrated tone. Apparently, I was disturbing him.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Mr. Kelly?”

“Yes, how can I help you?”

“Can you please put Mrs. Luciano on the phone?”

There was a short delay before he answered.

Donnie answering the Joel’s phone call

“Sorry, there is no Mrs. Luciano here. You must have the wrong number.”

In an assertive controlled voice I said, “Donnie, listen carefully. I’m her husband, and our son is in critical condition at the hospital. Look, I know she’s there and I need to give her the details, now, please just put her on the phone.”

After a long silence, I spoke up in anger.

“Donnie, if her son dies before I get to talk to her, I will find you and kill you with my bare hands. Do you understand? Now put her on the FUCKING PHONE!”

I heard the phone moving and then Lisa’s voice.

“Hello,” she answered in a nervous voice. In contrast, I was firm and in control when she answered.

“Lisa, listen carefully. Jake was hit by a car while he was walking home from school. He’s in surgery and in critical condition. When you get done fucking your boyfriend, please come to the Surgery Waiting Room 6 at Holy Cross Hospital. Do you understand?” I heard her scream as I was disconnected from the call.

I was so focused at that moment that I forgot that my two girls and her parents were listening to the conversation. They were now looking at me in complete shock. All the emotion from the day and hearing my wife on the phone with her lover was all my body could handle and I actually cried. For the first time ever, I cried in front of my family.

The pain was great from Jake’s accident and the loss of my wife, and I could no longer be stoic and strong. I was on my knees sobbing as my kids hugged me and cried. Mary and Roger stood next to us crying as well. It was a sad scene, but I knew everyone needed my strength, so I stood up, kissed my girls, wiped my eyes, and spoke to everyone.

“I apologize for what you just heard, but I lost it when I heard him answer the phone. Yes, it appears Lisa spent the afternoon in bed with some salesmen from work and forgot to pick Jake up. She’s with him right now, but I’m sure she will be here shortly now that she knows what happened. Please keep her away from me, because I’m not sure what I’ll do in the state I’m in.”

I saw the anger in her mother’s eyes. Mary was one tough broad and did not raise her daughter this way. She didn’t approve of her daughter’s recent changes and told her so, but she never would have believed her little girl could have done this.

Jasmine was still crying and asked, “Dad, is mom cheating on you?””

“It appears that she is, but you can ask her when she gets here. In the meantime, let’s focus on praying for your brother. He needs all of our prayers right now; we can deal with Mom later.”

Back in the Marriott Hotel Room

“Oh My God! I have to go right now. I forgot to pick my son up from school and he was hit by a car. This is all my fault. My sweet boy is in surgery, and my husband knows about us. I really fucked up and I don’t have a clue what I’m going to do.”

“Lisa, What about us?”

“There is no us, you idiot. This was a big fucking mistake. Look don’t call me again, I have to go,” she said to Donnie as she stepped into her dress and heels. She grabbed her purse and ran to the elevator turning her phone back on.

The Reality and Guilt overwhelmed Lisa

When the elevator got to the first floor the phone was back on and started beeping with dozens of messages and texts. She got in the car and raced to the hospital not thinking about anything but her son. The guilt started to pulse through her body as she drove, and tears continued to fall from her eyes no matter how many times she wiped them. This was never supposed to happen and she realized how stupid she had been. She finally realized that she was acting foolish and putting herself ahead of her family. She drove to the front of the hospital and left the car parked at the front entrance and ran inside screaming that she needed to get to her son. The security guard had seen this all before and understood the situation, took her car keys, and led her to the waiting room.

The Waiting Room Scene

Twenty minutes after leaving the hotel she walked into the surgical waiting room only to be confronted by her mother. Mary walked up to her daughter and immediately slapped her across the face so hard that it would have brought down a grown man. Lisa’s head practically spun around and her face was already turning red from her mother’s strike.

“You slut, we raised you better than this. This is all your fault. I hope you’re happy!”

She spoke through her tears, “Mom, it’s not like that.”

Her dad grabbed Mary and looked at Lisa with a sad face. “Lisa, stop it. We all know what you’ve been up to today. It’s a shame that you didn’t care more for your son than you do your lover. Now your son is fighting for his life because you were in the arms of another man.”

That’s when our daughter, Jasmine, yelled as she cried, “I hate you! You cheated on Dad and now Jake might die. I hate you; I hope you die.”

Yep, this was a fucking train wreck. Lisa looked my way, but when she saw the look on my face she turned and sat alone on one of the chairs, away from the rest of us. For the next thirty minutes we sat there not knowing what was happening with Jake, until a doctor came in to talk to the family.

He explained about all the broken bones they were fixing, and the punctured lung that was already taken care of, but the problem was some internal bleeding. He explained that Jake had lost a great deal of blood and was in grave danger. He said he would need blood and wanted to take some samples to see if we could donate. Of course, we all agreed. While we waited for our blood to be drawn, I looked over at Lisa and had to ask.

“Will we learn anything from the blood test, Lisa? Is Jake my son?”

Lisa feels Joel’s rage

She started crying harder than ever with her head between her knees. She was rocking back and forth as she cried like she had never cried before. Turns out my blood was the same as Jake’s and we ended up donating several pints.

A few minutes after we gave blood, I asked everyone to give Lisa and me a few minutes alone. After they gave us our privacy, I took a good look at Lisa who was trying to avoid eye contact. I noticed how disheveled her clothes were, and I realized she must have rushed out of the hotel room to get there.

“Lisa, you look terrible. Your nylons are missing, your makeup is a mess, and you haven’t even brushed your hair. You smell of sex, and I’m guessing you’re sitting here with your family, while your pussy is full of your boyfriend’s spunk. You couldn’t be more disrespectful if you tried.”

That comment caused her head to snap upright and speak for the first time since she arrived.

“He’s not my boyfriend. Please don’t say that. There’s no one else, I only love you.”

“Lisa’s if he’s not your boyfriend, then do you just sleep with random guys, are you really just a slut? Please show me some respect, I’m not an idiot. You’ve been turning me down for sex for the last two months. Hell, even last night you feigned a headache and turned me down again. Why Lisa? Did you want to be fresh and ready for your boyfriend today? Look, this isn’t the time and place to discuss this. Just go home, clean up, and come back looking presentable. Our children and your parents don’t need to see you like this. I don’t want to discuss your betrayal, or our divorce until after Jake gets better.”

“Divorce? No, Joel, you can’t divorce me, I love you. Please don’t say that.”

“Lisa, we’ll discuss our future, but not now. I can’t waste my energy on you right now, I have my son to worry about. I need to focus on Jake, not what you’ve done to our family. Just go home and get cleaned up. If you can’t drive I’ll have your dad take you, or I’ll call an Uber, but you need to leave now. Jake won’t be out of surgery for a while and you should be here when he wakes up. The last thing he needs is to see you looking like this.”

She stood up, tears still falling. “I’m so sorry, I’ll leave.”

Two hours later Lisa was back, with no makeup, hair in a ponytail, and wearing jeans and a sweater. She had stopped crying but looked terrible from the crying and humiliation. She was now sitting with her mom and dad, as our girls stayed by my side. I told my girls we had to stop any resentment towards their mother, and that we needed to focus on Jake. I explained that there would be time to have conversations about this later, but right now we needed to be a family.

So, for the next two days, we took turns holding a vigil for Jake who remained in a medically induced coma. Finally, on the third day, there was positive news from the doctors, and Jake was going to be OK. He would need to stay in the hospital for a while, but he should be able to go home in about a week.

We all cried and held each other when we got the good news. Lisa tried to warm up to me, but I wanted no part of that, and gently pushed her away as I held my girls. Lisa’s world had imploded, and she had no idea how to reinsert herself into the family and save her marriage.

Since the family was taking turns staying at the hospital, there were no sleeping arrangements for Lisa and I. But on the third day, I decided to let Lisa know how I wanted to move forward back home.

“Lisa, now that Jake’s going to recover, I’ll be sleeping at home again. Obviously, I don’t want you in my bed. And since you’re the one taking on new lovers, I think it’s only fair you move your things into the guest room.”

“Please Joel, not that. Please don’t kick me out, you know I love you.”

“For right now, until Jake fully recovers, there is no us. You are the mother of our children, and we’ll need you to help with Jake’s recovery. But until I decide what my future holds, you and I are no longer a couple. Yes, we’re legally still married for now, but I don’t think of you as my wife any longer.”

My words crushed her soul and her tears started flowing once again, but she understood and moved into the guest room. I talked to the girls and they understood. We all agreed not to let Jake know what was happening until he was healing and getting better.

I turned the living room into Jake’s recovery room, rented a hospital bed, and wheelchair, hired a daytime nurse, and prepared for his return home. With Jake in the living room and not mobile, he wouldn’t know about our sleeping arrangements as long as the girls kept our secret. His recovery was our priority.

Insurance and Lawsuit

The driver of the truck turned out to be an ex-con who was mistakenly hired by Scientific Laboratories, a large publicly traded pharmaceutical company. Somehow, he passed their screening and background check, which would end up being an expensive mistake.

During the investigation, the police discovered that the driver had been vaping, was under the influence, and texting on his phone at the exact moment of the incident.

The lawsuit did get national coverage due to the current high crime rate and the current anger with the pharmaceutical companies. Our attorneys knew we had a slam dunk case and sued for an extremely large dollar figure. After the jury heard the entire story, the company knew they were in trouble, and offered us a hefty eight-figure settlement number rather than risk an even higher punitive damage payout by the jury. This did little to assuage our anger and grief, but it allowed for the best medical treatments and physical therapy for Jake. It was also enough to secure his future, pay for the kids’ college, and allow me to take a hiatus from my job and be there for Jake during the eighteen-month time it would take for him to fully recover.

Lisa’s thoughts

When mom slapped me in the face my world came back into focus. I looked around the room and saw all the people I let down and hurt. The feelings of remorse, guilt, pain, and failure flooded my body, and all I wanted to do was run and hide. I begged for some forgiveness but was only treated as a miscreant. The pain increased when I heard Jasmine tell me she hated me and wanted me to die. All I could do was cry and feel sorry for myself. The thought that all of this was my fault overwhelmed me with a feeling of dread and sadness.

Mary slapping Lisa

I tried to explain that I wasn’t having an affair and it was a mistake, but my dad stopped my delusion when he told me to stop lying, and that we wouldn’t be here if I had just remembered to pick up my son instead of spreading my legs for another man. I realized that it was all my fault and if Jake didn’t pull through, I would end my life because I would not be able to handle what I had done.

When we needed to give blood the hatred I felt in that room was overwhelming when Joel asked if Jake was really his son. How could he think that he wasn’t his son? Then I realized what I had done and what they were thinking, and once again I wanted to run out of the room and hide.

After a long time, I was finally able to stop crying. That’s when Joel asked everyone to give us a few minutes alone. I suddenly got nervous and didn’t want to face him like this. When he pointed out how I looked and that my stockings were missing, I realized I had left the hotel without thinking about how I was dressed, because all I cared about was seeing Jake.

Then I cringed and started crying when he said I smelled of sex and asked if my boyfriend’s spunk was still inside me. That’s when I knew how bad I screwed up. Sitting there looking freshly fucked, and smelling of sex, made me understand the gravity of this situation. He was right, I needed to get home, clean up, and be there for Jake when he woke up. Then I felt angry when he called Donnie my boyfriend and I had to correct him. But when Joel explained that Donnie was either my boyfriend, or I was just a slut, my argument became irrelevant.

Divorce? Why would he say that? Oh God, no. Not that. This was never supposed to happen. I can’t lose Joel, I love him. Donnie was just a distraction. I know it was wrong, but there’s no love. He had to understand that it was a mistake and I’ll never do it again. He loves me, I know it. I have to find a way to make this right, but how?

Recovery

Mywife and the girls were all involved with the recovery. After Jake’s release from the hospital, we brought him home and introduced him to his new room, complete with a Hospital Bed, the remote to the new 65-inch TV along with his video games. We wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible during his rehabilitation. We had several day nurses helping us during this time, which turned out to be a blessing. Mary and Roger came over daily to help, and along with our daughters we all got used to the new normal.

Roger and I spent a great deal of time talking about things and my plans. Her parents wanted the best for the family and suggested counseling to try to stay together. Several times I told them I wasn’t ready and wanted to continue to focus on helping Jake through his difficult time.

Lisa and I were only speaking when we were together with Jake. From hearing the girls talking that his mom made some type of mistake, and realized that there was a big problem. Jake was always the sensitive one in the family, and one day when we were alone, he asked me what was going on and for me to forgive her. He reminded me that Mom loves me and he can tell she’s been hurting.

I had to wipe a small tear away, and tell him that our issues weren’t his concern, and to concentrate on getting better. That’s the moment I realized that I needed to face the situation and make some decisions. I told Lisa we were going to dinner on Friday night to have a talk. Mary and Roger sat with the kids that Friday night.

We went to our favorite Italian restaurant, and after several drinks I decided it was time for the talk, and told the waiter to give us some time before we ordered. This was the first time since that fateful day I spoke directly to Lisa. Up until that night, I had only answered questions or followed along in a conversation. So, for the first time since the accident, I spoke directly to Lisa about our future together.

“I know it’s been hard for you, and it’s not fair that you’re sleeping in the guest room. Since the accident I haven’t had time to think about our future, but over the last few days I think I have a solution to end all the stress the family is feeling about our situation.

I’ll look for an apartment near the house, and you can move back into the master bedroom again. Once Jake is up on his feet, I’ll start the divorce process. I want to wait until he’s better before he knows the entire reason for our separation.”

I saw a tear fall from her eye as I downed my third drink. I felt like the boy who lost his best friend, as I held back a tear for my loss. All the years of love I had for this woman were ruined by one act of selfishness, and now we were both paying for her actions.

“Joel, is there any way you can forgive me and let me back into your life?”

“Lisa, I love you and probably always will. Besides Jake’s accident, losing you has been the hardest thing that’s ever happened to me. I just don’t see a way back. Your selfish act of putting your boyfriend before our family and betraying my love is something I’m not sure I`ll ever get over. Our son Jake almost died because you needed to be with Donnie. Think about that and put yourself in my position.”

“Please don’t say his name. I’ve hated myself ever since that day. I don’t blame you for hating me either. What I did was unforgivable. What’s worse is I betrayed the only man I’ve ever loved, for what? One stupid fling with a man I never even wanted in my life? I know I fucked up, and I don’t deserve anything from you or the girls, but is there anything I can do?”

“Lisa, I don’t think so. As far as I know, you haven’t done anything to resolve the situation, and that just shows me you really don’t care. Once we divorce, you can go back to your boyfriend or anyone else. With your new body and looks I’m sure you can have any man you like,” I said sarcastically.

“OK, I deserve that, but since the accident, all I’ve done is try to be with Jake. I tried not to think about what I did to you. Let me make things right and give me another chance, please.”

“Do what you want, Lisa. I’m not making any promises here. I’ll wait a few weeks before I start looking for an apartment. But to be honest, whenever I think about the months before the accident, how you treated me, the lack of sex, and your narcissism, I have to believe that you really don’t care. I was there for you during your sickness and worshiped the ground you walked on. You took all that love and tossed it away, like a diaper full of crap. You’ve given what was once mine to another man, allowed him to use you and God knows what you did with him. I don’t know how I can get past that, Lisa. Tell me, how long were you dating Donnie before that day?”

“I was never with him before. It was only that one time, I swear. And there was never anyone else.”

“That wasn’t my question. I asked how long you were dating Donnie? Obviously, you two were making plans before that day. I’m going to guess you’ve been having lunches, maybe after-hours drinks, special text messages, or an email or two. If I check your phone text messages or emails, will I find a relationship? You see Lisa, giving yourself to another man is more than sex. The moment you started thinking of him, giving him your attention and intimacy, it became an affair. So, I’ll ask one more time, and please be honest. Your lies or deception will not help our future.”

“I see your point, and I can see how bad I messed things up. I guess it started about three months before the accident, just before my 40th birthday. I was feeling old, but when he found out I was turning 40 he started telling me how young I looked and gave me all kinds of compliments. I’m sorry, I know it was wrong but I enjoyed them and liked hearing that I was desirable to a younger man. I felt sexy and he kept flirting and I let it get to me. You’re the only man I’d ever been with, and now after 20 years, I felt like a schoolgirl again.

He kept trying to take me to dinner, and the constant flirting made me feel even more sexy. When he took me to lunch that day, he took me straight to his hotel room and said he’d order room service. It only took a few minutes before he seduced me. And I’ve regretted my actions every minute since. I swear it was only that one time and I’ll never do anything like that again.”

“Lisa, I noticed how you enjoyed dancing and flirting with the young guys in your office at your birthday party. You’ll remember our conversation about it, I’m sure. Well, ever since you started at the Gym with Maria you’ve changed. To be honest, I don’t like the new Lisa and what she’s become. I don’t blame you for wanting to look young, have excitement in your life, or wanting more than I can give you. I just wish you would have told me instead of looking for something outside our marriage. I don’t want to live with that woman, and feel like I need to compete with younger guys, or that you are doing things behind my back. I’ve lost confidence in myself, our marriage, the trust I had in you, and our life together. That’s not a good recipe for a healthy marriage. I’m not sure what you can do to fix things, or if they can ever be fixed.” We ate in silence as we digested our conversation.

Roger looked hopeful when we entered the house, but I just shook my head. I thanked him for watching the kids and went up to my bedroom alone. Mary saw Lisa’s tears and knew nothing had changed. At least we tried.

A month later Lisa did surprise me when she told me she made reservations for dinner again. This time she was in charge and started the conversation.

“Joel, you were right about everything. I did move on without you for the last two years and only thought of myself as I tried to get my body in shape. What I did was unforgivable, and I cannot take it back or change the past. But let me tell you how I’m going to fix things.

Trying to maintain her calm she continued, “I’ve been seeing a therapist to help me with the guilt from my actions. Every night I cry for hours thinking how I almost lost my baby boy and destroyed the man I love. My therapist has been a lifesaver, and helped me understand all the pain my selfish actions have caused, and how I hurt you in the worst way possible. She gave me some reasons for my poor choices. She said it was a cry out for attention or maybe a midlife crisis, but I disagreed with her, and I take full responsibility for my actions. I messed up, made bad choices, and convinced myself I deserved to enjoy my new found youth after working so hard to look good. At first, I only did it to get in shape, but after I lost the extra weight, I started to get lots of attention from men, and it made me feel young, sexy, and desirable, which didn’t help as I turned 40 years old.”

I could tell she was struggling to hold it together and I just sat quietly as she continued, “What’s really crazy is that I loved our life, our kids, and our marriage. I never thought of hurting or cheating on you, but that’s exactly what happened. It started with innocent flirting, then you saw some of that at my birthday party, but of course I didn’t listen. Then it was lunches, and more flirting until I allowed myself to go and screw up my life for a meaningless afternoon of sex. I hate myself for what I did and realize now it’s not who I am, and I want you to know how sorry I am for hurting you and the damage I’ve done to our son. You have no idea the amount of guilt and pain I live with every day.

This was never about my love for you or our marriage. My actions were completely selfish. I was only thinking about myself and what I thought I deserved. What I’m telling you is not an excuse and I don’t expect you to forgive me, because I broke my vows, my promise to you, and betrayed your trust and love. I will understand if you want a divorce after what I did and I’ll be sad, but you need to be happy and be with someone you can trust. In the meantime, I plan on trying to win you back.

Joel, the last time we had dinner you said I hadn’t done anything to save our marriage, and I told you that I was so worried about our son that I didn’t know how to save us. After you pointed that out, I spent the last month trying to show you what I’ve done to get you back.”

She was in control of her emotions and spoke in a serious tone, “First of all, I’ve turned in my resignation today and will be a stay-at-home mom. I’ll nurse Jake full-time, and we can get rid of the day nurses. I told Mr. Conner, my boss, about the affair with the supplier. You know all about his standing in the community and church, so while I was there he called the supplier and said they would cancel their relationship if they didn’t fire Donnie immediately. Apparently Scientific Laboratories is their largest customer, and depends on our business for a good percentage of their revenue. I found out before we went out tonight that it wasn’t the first complaint they had received and that Donnie was in fact terminated.

After that, I went to see his wife, Patricia Kelly, and apologized for what we had done. I broke down and cried when I told her the entire story, and how I was trying to fix things with you, the only man I’ve ever loved. She was much nicer than I would have been, but I think she realized how terrible I was feeling. Patricia tried to comfort me, she said it wasn’t all my fault, as Donnie was quite the lady’s man and had a talent for seducing women. But she was stern and told me to never disrespect the man I love again. She wished me luck in getting us back together.

She said it wasn’t the first time this had happened, but that this was the last time. I think she was going to see a lawyer. After I left, I called Maria and told her I was giving up my gym membership. I also plan on continuing therapy. I realize that I’m a grown woman with a family that needs me, and I intend to be the best mom and wife possible, if I’m given the chance again. I also gave all of my new clothes away, and kept only a few things that are more suitable for women my age.”

The conversation gave me some hope as she continued, “Over the last several weeks I’ve read dozens of articles on affairs. I even read some stories where the wife gets a polygraph test to answer all the questions that the aggrieved husband would have. From what I’ve read, there are about twenty common questions that need to be answered, so last week I made an appointment and went to an office downtown that specializes in lie detector exams. I had them ask me all of the questions I had prepared. They said the questions were unorthodox and not what they would usually ask, but agreed to my request. They said they would add them to their normal questions randomly. I gave them the list of questions I knew you had to be wondering about and answered them honestly.

This envelope has the answers to your questions. I want you to know that I have not opened the envelope or looked at the results. I know what’s true, and I’m confident these results will let you know I’m being completely truthful. I’ll even volunteer to take a test every few months to prove how much I love you and that you can trust me again.

I also met with an attorney and asked her to prepare a post-nuptial agreement, to prove how serious I am and to try and win back your trust. The post-nuptial agreement states that if I ever get stupid again, I give up custody of the children, and leave our home without support or alimony. I’ve read that this is common for cheaters like me. Yes, I know what I am now, and what I did. I accept the title, no matter how dirty it makes me feel. I also know I need to atone for what I’ve done, and I’ll promise to put you first, always.” She said as tears were now falling from her eyes and onto the table. “You will find the postnuptial agreement along with the polygraph test in the envelope.”

I sat there stunned at her actions and her revelations about what she had done. My wife understood the impact on our family and our marriage.

“Well Lisa, I have to admit I’m surprised by your actions. It does give me something to think about, but I have one serious question. Why are you trying so hard to save this marriage? I mean, you obviously lost respect for me as your husband and were looking for something better. Now, with your looks and great body, you can have any man you want. You need to be honest, and ask yourself why would you want to stay with me, an overweight middle-aged man? You’ve already made it clear that you wanted more than I could give you. Knowing how you felt about me, I can’t understand why you want me now? I think you just feel guilty about getting caught and want forgiveness to ease that guilt.”

“No! That’s not it. I want us back because I love you. You were there when I was sick, took care of me, nursed me back to health, and never complained all those years. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve always felt your unconditional love. I took it all for granted, and I realize now how precious that love was. There is nobody else I want, and I can’t even imagine being with someone else. It’s always been you, and I threw it away. And truthfully, you’ve always been all I needed sexually, you’ve always made me happy. I just took things for granted and stopped thinking about anyone else but myself, and that will never happen again.”

She was now sobbing uncontrollably in the restaurant, making hiccup noises from the heavy crying. We were now getting looks from the other patrons. I went to her and put my arms around her, and held her as she cried into my shoulder. My heart was breaking again from all of her pain and I wasn’t sure how much more of all these emotions I could take.

After she settled down, she handed me the manila envelope and told me to read the report later tonight when I was alone in bed. It definitely got my interest and I wondered what I would learn.

Just before we pulled into the driveway, she looked at me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen and said, “Please don’t leave us, Joel. Don’t move out of our home. I’ll be happy to stay in the guest room if you don’t want me in your bed. I understand why you wouldn’t want me there, because when I think how I would have reacted if you did what I did, well let’s just say I understand and I’ll be there as long as you want. I just want to be with you and have our family stay together again. Please don’t leave us. I know you’ll never forgive me, but please give me a chance to win your heart back once more.”

I smiled at her dad as we entered the house, giving him a small ray of hope of us getting back together. After they left, we got the kids off to bed. We went to our separate bedrooms after giving each other a small kiss for the first time since the accident.

Once in my room I took a shower, brushed my teeth, climbed in bed, and looked at the manila envelope, wondering what answers I would find inside. Would it make any difference? Did I want her back after everything that had happened?

When I opened the file, I was shocked to find the amount of detail in the report from the polygraph test. I knew that answers would most likely determine our future as husband and wife. I looked at all the questions and answers, all the data, and then the summary. Apparently, she did a great deal of research because all the questions I’ve had were now answered and in my hands. I wasn’t sure I was ready, but I would soon know the truth.

Here are the relevant results. There were several unrelated questions I didn’t list. The questions seemed to have been jumbled and out of order, so as not to allow her to know what was coming next. It was amusing as I could tell from the questions that Lisa had come up with, because a true polygraph would not ask questions this way.

Lisa’s Polygraph

Is your name Lisa Conner? YES (followed by several opening questions)
Did you cheat on your husband and family? YES
Do you love Donnie? NO
Do you want to be with Donnie again? NO
Do you have any feelings for Donnie? NO
Did you have intercourse with him? YES
Were you on drugs or alcohol? NO
Did you plan the affair? NO
Was this the first time with Donnie? YES
Did he wear a condom? YES
Did you have an orgasm? YES
Was your orgasm better with Donnie? NO
Was he a better lover than your husband? NO
Was he bigger than your husband? NO
Was this your first-time having sex with Donnie? YES
Did you give him oral sex? NO
Did you kiss Donnie? YES
Did you kiss him before that day? NO
Did you ever let him touch you before that day? NO
If you weren’t caught, would you have done it again? NO
Since you’ve been married, have you had sex with anyone else? NO
Do you love your husband? YES
Did your husband do anything wrong to make you cheat on him? NO
Do you want a divorce? NO
Will you ever cheat again? NO
Do you find your husband attractive? YES
Do you want to be with anyone else? NO
Are you willing to do anything for Joel’s forgiveness? YES

After reading the answers I slept soundly that night, still not sure of my future but somehow the answers to those questions gave me some relief.

The next morning, I spoke with my children and gave them some of the information and the extent of her betrayal, along with her actions to make things right. As we were still a family, I wanted their input on our future.

“Kids, as you already know, I was about to move out and find an apartment but last night your mom asked me to stay. I want this family to heal and get past this, but I need to know how you feel. Can we forgive your mom and take her back and work on getting our family back together? We all make mistakes, and Mom made a big one, but I believe she deserves another chance. I need to hear how you feel before I make any decisions for the family.”

I looked at my son and said, “Jake, you suffered physically from your mom’s mistake, how do you feel about what I’ve said?”

“Dad, I don’t blame mom. I should have never walked home; it was my fault for disobeying your orders to never walk home. If I hadn’t walked home that day, we would all be happy. It’s my fault,” he cried.

My heart broke watching my son take the blame for all the errors made on that day. I was proud of him for taking the blame and standing up for his mom and rubbing the top of his head.

“Son, let’s not discuss blame. It’s in the past and we need to focus on the present and our future. What we do now is all that matters.”

The girls spoke up. “Dad, we don’t want you to divorce Mom. Yes, we’re all still angry, but if there’s any way to forgive her, we need to stay together as a family. Please, Dad, don’t get divorced, let’s give her another chance.”

“To be completely honest, I’m not sure if that’s an option right now, but there might be a way that we can stay together as a family. You do understand that if I stay in the house, things between your mom and I will be different. She will be sleeping in the guest room. The love we once shared has been damaged, and we might not be the same for a while, and I honestly don’t know if we will ever be that way again.”

“Dad, we understand, but it will be much better to have both of you here with us, and not move out. Maybe in time, we can all get things back as they were.”

I was now proud of my girls and realized that we did raise good kids. At that moment I knew we would try to save our family and forgive. We all walked up to Lisa’s room and told her we wanted to have a family meeting and asked her to join us.

Lisa looked terrible. She had bags under her bloodshot eyes, obviously suffering from stress and crying. Because of the coldness from the family, her life had become a living Hell. Oddly, the only person that was speaking to her, and undoubtedly forgave her, was Jake. Her son, who was suffering the most. He was the first to forgive his mom.

This was our first family meeting since the incident, and Lisa was nervous as she sat alone on the couch. I walked over and sat next to her and held her hand knowing this was going to be a difficult conversation.

“I’ll speak for all of us, Lisa. What you’ve done has damaged this family, and left me with the most difficult decision in my life. You may not like what I’ve decided, but there’s no other way that I can maintain my self-respect as a man.”

I watched as she sat quietly holding her hands tightly together on her lap, “The kids have made their desires known and want our family to stay together. Up until last night, I didn’t think there was a way to stop me from leaving you, and moving into a new apartment. But after I read the polygraph report, and what you’ve done to try and save our marriage, I was moved. You surprised me with your efforts over the last month.

Lisa, to be honest, your contrition and actions have made me reconsider my decisions. Your cheating was devastating, but the real damage was the way you treated me and the family for the last six months. Then, when I learned that you mentally left us and were dating another man, I knew I was going to divorce you and end our marriage. On top of the pain that caused, I was enraged, because your cheating was partly responsible for Jake’s injuries. And that was unforgivable.”

I saw a tear fall from her eye as I went on, “After considering the situation, I believe in my heart that if this situation were reversed, and I had taken a lover that caused Jake’s accident, there would be no discussion and you would have already kicked me out. But for some reason, which I can’t explain, I still love you, and losing you will cause me even more pain than you’ve already bestowed upon me. It’s a real-life quagmire, but my love for you is still strong.

Today we had a family meeting about our future. Since this was a big decision I needed the kids’ input, and as a family, the final vote was for us to try and stay together and work towards healing.”

She looked openly relieved and a smile crossed her face.

“Don’t look so happy just yet. You see, despite the kids’ wishes, I cannot stay married to you knowing that you’ve cheated me, broken your promise to remain faithful, and forsake all others. You broke our marriage contract, and if I stay married to you then I’ll be accepting that it was OK. It may sound vindictive but I am still going through with the divorce.”

Her smile was instantly replaced with a look of dread and tears started to fall.

“Let me finish before you have a nervous breakdown. Like I said, I still love you and don’t want our life together to end.”

Now she was looking at me with a confused expression.

“We will divorce and start over, that is, if you still want to. The current living arrangements will not change, and you and I will date and work on our future together. Starting over will allow me to understand why you want to stay married. Don’t get me wrong, this won’t be easy. We will both have our freedom to live as if we are single, and dating others is on the table. That means you have the freedom to explore your desires, and see if being married to me is really what you want. I’ll have the same freedom.

Everyone was staring at me as I explained our future. “Don’t misunderstand what I’m offering here. I have no desire or plans on dating others, but we both know you had desires outside our marriage, and I can’t take the chance of you doing this again, and if you do, I might also want to have the option to find someone else as well.”

I had to stop for a drink as my mouth was dry, and my emotions were on edge. “This next six months to a year will let both of us know what you really want in your life. It will also give me time to see if I can live with knowing that you needed another man in your life. I haven’t mentioned this before, but my confidence and self-respect were an additional casualty of your betrayal, and it’s something I will need to resolve and rebuild before I can give myself to you again.

I liked your idea of the post-nuptial agreement and almost accepted your suggestion, but I realized that staying married under these circumstances would have condoned what you’ve done, and I would still wonder if you wanted more than I could give you. Under my plan, you will have the freedom to make your own decisions for the future. Depending on how things work out for us, I can try to trust you again. If things go well, there will be a Prenuptial agreement and new vows at our wedding ceremony. Yes, we will have a wedding ceremony to publicly commit to each other once again.

During this time, counseling will be mandatory. I will also seek a counselor to help me with my anger and trust issues, and we will also attend family counseling, as you have hurt all of us in different ways and we all need to work with a professional. The simple solution would be to just get a divorce and move on, but we love you and I want to make an effort to stay together. You also need to work at getting your relationship back with your parents. You have a lot of work in front of you if you want to stay with the family. Last night you told me you would do anything for me to stay. If you still want that, then be prepared for a long healing process.” I stopped and let what I just explained sink in as we sat in until the pressure from the silence was overwhelming.

“So, Lisa, are you still willing to do whatever it takes? Do you still want to try and keep this family together?”

Lisa put her head in her hands in tears, “Yes, I love you. I don’t want a divorce, but I understand how you feel. Thank you. I know I don’t deserve a second chance. I thought about what you said, and if this was turned around, I would have divorced you already. Giving me another chance is all I ask, and I’ll prove to you that you’re all I want and nobody else. I promise I’ll make it up to everyone. I’m so sorry, and I pray that someday you can all forgive me for what I’ve done.”

I stood as the girls came over and wrapped their arms around their mother. I held Jake’s hand and for the first time in months, we were together again. We knew at that moment that we turned the corner and we would be stronger after all of this drama.

Epilogue

Ittook over five months for me to allow her back into my bed. I had to give her credit, as she did everything possible to win my trust and love back. I won’t get into every detail, but she made us all know that getting our family back together was her primary goal, and she won us all back after a long recovery, dozens of counseling sessions, and family outings. From that day on, we spent all of our free time together as a family.

There were several times during that year that Lisa came to my bed, but those times only ended up being a way for both of us to relieve our sexual frustration. There was no lovemaking. Our time was never more than a few minutes, because my mind kept thinking of that dreadful day. Neither of us dated anyone or even discussed anyone else. My own therapy sessions were helping me accept things and regain my confidence. After losing interest in sex with Lisa, I was finally able to perform and get some sexual satisfaction, but lovemaking took much longer.

After ten months we did consummate our lovemaking, but it took several years before we experienced the level of intimacy we once shared. Her betrayal left a lasting hurt which I never fully resolved. Lisa’s commitment was solid, and she proved to me that she was fully committed to me and not interested in anyone else. Her love and reassurance helped me get my self-confidence and respect back to an acceptable level, and I was finally happy again.

One year after that meeting, we had a small wedding ceremony with some friends, her parents, and the kids. We shared vows and signed the prenuptial agreements. During our small reception, she made a small speech to everyone apologizing for her actions that hurt the entire family and thanked everyone for their support. She promised to be a loving mother and a loyal wife. Many tears of happiness flowed that afternoon, and I even felt a few tears leave my eyes.

During our reconciliation, Lisa became less outgoing and suffered in her own hell. She realized how damaged I became from her affair. We stayed married and happy for the next 30 years. We watched our kids get married and have children. All in all, it was a happy life, and the events of that tragic day were now in the past and never to be mentioned again.

Donnie paid for the damage he caused my family and marriage. His wife kicked him out and handed him divorce papers shortly after Lisa confessed her sins to her. He ended up living in a studio apartment. After his child support and alimony payments, Donnie lived a miserable life. Between the alimony and support payments, and only being allowed to see his kids on weekends, left him broke and depressed. He suffered even more when he learned that his ex-wife was dating, and how much the kids loved mom’s rich boyfriend. Weekends on his boat, trips to Disneyworld and Universal made him jealous and sad, as he realized that their future step-dad was a better man.

Donnie continued to run into bad luck from job to job as he continued to mess up. Dating girls didn’t last long either, when they learned about his cheating history. He continued to date married women as they were easy prey to his good looks and charm. This was his downfall.

One night he was run down by another angry husband as he was coming out of a club. He suffered from internal bleeding, a dozen broken bones, a collapsed lung, and terrible pain for three straight days until he passed away. He left a trail of pain and died alone. With no family to claim the body the state eventually cremated his remains, and buried the ashes along with other unclaimed bodies, in a mass grave.

Donnie run down by another angry husband

I found out about Donnie’s struggles from his ex-wife, who thought it might help in the closure of my wife’s affair. It was immature, but I took great pleasure in giving Lisa all the details of his gruesome death. To her credit, there was no emotion and she never said a word about it.

His ex-wife was right, hearing of his death at the hands of another aggrieved husband did help my closure, and things between Lisa and I got much better. We never discussed that time again and developed a good relationship in our new marriage. We made sure to keep each other the most important things in our lives.

Finally, Jake made a full recovery, and because of the years of physical therapy, he developed a habit of working out. He earned a full scholarship for baseball and led the state high schools in home runs and stolen bases.

The girls got married and would never make the mistake their mother made. They saw the pain and hurt one mistake made and became devoted wives and mothers.